Diabetic Meltdown

I’ve heard that teenage boys can go through a rebellious stage in regard to their diabetes management but I never thought it would affect my son. He does his blood sugars, changes his site, boluses for his meals….or so I thought until yesterday.

We have been letting go of the reins a bit in order to give him more responsibility. After all he is 14 ½ and we can’t be by his side 24/7. As long as we know where he is, who he’s with, how long he’ll be gone, and of course, that he has all of his necessary supplies, we’ve allowed him to venture into the world of teenagedom.

Yesterday he was with his girlfriend and her family all day until 5:00 p.m. Once he came home we sat down to go over his blood tests to put on a 3 day log sheet that we needed to fax to his new Doctor. To my surprise there was no blood sugar history after the morning test, and after checking his pump, confirmed there was no bolus history either. After Jake had what I call a "diabetic meltdown", he decided to admit that he hadn’t done anything since breakfast. He said when he’s around his girlfriend he just wants to feel "normal", and that he’s tired of his diabetes. He’s tired of the needles, the blood tests, the carb counting, the low’s and the high’s. When he’s with his friends he wants to be like all the other kids.

After a lot of tears, mine included, we grounded him for two weeks for lying. I guess the reins will be pulled tight again.

One Of My Favorite Poems

How God Selects the Mother of a Diabetic Child by Erma Bombeck

Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressures and a couple by habit. Did you ever wonder how mothers of children with diabetes are chosen? Somehow I visualize God hovering over earth selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As he observes, he instructs his angels to make notes in a giant ledger.

"Armstrong, Beth, son. Patron Saint Matthew."

"Forrest, Marjorie, daughter, Patron Saint Cecilia."

"Rutledge, Carrie, twins. Patron Saint Gerard. He's used to profanity."

Finally, He passes a name to an angel and smiles, "Give her a child with diabetes." The angel is curious. "Why this one, God? She's so happy."

"Exactly", smiles God. "Could I give child with diabetes to a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel".

"But has she the patience?" asks the angel.

"I don't want her to have too much patience, or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wear off, she'll handle it. I watched her today. She has that feeling of self and independence that is so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I am going to give her has her own world. She has to make it live in her world and that's not going to be easy."

"But, Lord, I don't think she even believes in you."

God smiles. "No matter. I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just enough selfishness."

The angel gasps. "Selfishness? Is that a virtue?"

God nods. "If she cannot separate herself from the child occasionally, she will never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with less than perfect."

"She does not realize it yet, but she is to be envied. I will permit her to see clearly the things I see .... ignorance, cruelty, prejudice ... and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life because she is doing my work as surely as if she is here by my side."

"And what about her patron saint?" asks the angel, his pen poised in mid air. God smiles. "A mirror will suffice."

My Diabetic Teen

Since my son Jake's diagnosis with Type I Diabetes 4 1/2 years ago, our lives have taken on a new sense of normal. From frantic runs to the hospital in the middle of the night, to getting a call at 3:00 a.m. because my son was throwing up in the yard during a sleepover (which caused the frantic run to the hospital), to the feeling of heartbreak when he has a meltdown over his diabetes. Fighting with the insurance company, fighting with the pharmacy, fighting with the school system. Worrying about if we have enough supplies, worrying about if we have enough money to afford the supplies. Waking up in the middle of the night because you thought you heard him moan and he might be going low. Waking up in the middle of the night because you hope he remembered to do his bolus for his snack before bed. Waking up in the middle of night because he did go low and needs a snack. Laying there afterwards and not being able to sleep because your thinking of all of the above. This is now my normal.

I look at my face in the morning and see the strain, the bags, the dark circles. And then I realize...he has it much worse than me. I have to be strong, I have to be positive, I have to be his advocate, I have to be his Mom, and I wouldn't trade him for anything in the world.

These are my ramblings. Welcome to My Diabetic Teen.